downside to having 1750 christmas lights on the ev tree

putting away 1750 christmas lights

lost in translation

at the dentist this morning for a recheck on my recently filled cavity:

"might go to montauk this afternoon" said the dentist.
"oh, I didn't even know they had a store here!" thought I, eager to browse their selection of fine sofas. but before I could reply, the tooth doctor interjected:
"I'll have to check on the conditions first, though"
odd, no, that he would be so nervous about the conditions at a furniture store? I mean I know it is boxing day and all, but still.

evidently he was referring to martock, a local ski hill, and not the purveyor of responsible couches. why does no one ever speak my language?

p.s. cavity is such a strong word. it was really more of a mini-cavity. a dent, really.

did I really need more festive matzo?

I wonder what the yiddish word is for 'barf'? and also for 'liposuction'.

oy vey

having filled my belly as full as it will go with christmas cookies, I felt a change of faith was in order. and so I just ate way too much matzo crunch. I am, as they say, schtuffed.

in other news, mila will not let me get a lamp shaped like a gun (it is only a few years old and already a design classic, I feel. and it is really sexy and also I can pretend it is conceptual and stuff). her reasons are not clear. something about it being a gun or something (note to mila it is not a real gun it is just a lamp gun). but anyway it is not like I have a history of violence or anything so why am I being punished and not allowed to have a sweet lamp?

disaster

that is it, I cannot go to work so early from now on. I got all dressed in the dark this morning and looked pretty sweet (grey trousers and a subdued lavender sweater with a black shoe and sweet black socks) but then I got to work and my sweet black socks were actually my sweet navy socks.

anyway if anyone had asked I would have told them that navy socks were the new thing and didn't they know that karl lagerfeld had ordered that all his black socks be placed in custom vuiton valises and sunk to the bottom of lake como and if the kaiser is not going to wear black socks then neither am I BUT UNDER THAT COVER STORY I WAS ACTUALLY REALLY EMBARRASSED.

where did they even find a hammer?

to the ladies trying to mount a poster in the library: you cannot push a pushpin into a cinderblock wall. also you cannot hammer it in so please stop trying because I am trying to read the internet here.

p.s. the poster is too high.

whatevs

so someone leaked a trailer for harry potter and the deathly hallows but now it is gone from the internet and I never saw it. whatever, like I even care. big deal. maybe I will reread all the books now because I have a serious craving. so what?

ALSO THE OLYMPICS ARE KIND OF SOON.

I do not want to see our electricity bill for december

the dimmer for our christmas tree lights just melted. evidently standard-issue residential dimmers are not made to handle the demands of an EV christmas tree.

married life is stifling

so there is this poster I want to get with different cuts of pork on it and stuff but mila will not let me get it. I mean I understand that maybe pork peaked in fall/winter 2009, but it is still the hottest meat right now, until goat usurps it sometime in mid 2010.

our home is full of christmas cheer

and pine needles.