Wednesday, August 24, 2011


took a road trip a couple nights ago to brooklyn, ns. some observations:

1) brooklyn ns /= brooklyn ny
2) hipster residents of the latter would be so jealous of our trip to the former. real life gravel roads and farms and stuff. do you know how much hipster cred that is worth?
3) I imagine the pbr is consumed with somewhat less irony in the nova scotian bklyn.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

don't judge a magalog by its first 147 pages

I may have to rescind my last post: there is a rather luxurious piece of rope on page 148, and I can surely take no umbrage with the fine lightbulbs on page 484. will probably have to place an order.

paper weight

good thing the new restoration hardware catalogue is 616 pages long. 615 pages would not have been nearly enough room for all the corinthian capital side tables, cast iron polyhedrons and reproduction wooden airplane propellers (only $1645!). also there probably would not have been room to include the 8 foot tall eiffel tower model or the similarly sized timber calipers (for measuring large trees, natch. tres lumberjack chic). honestly I am pretty sure that resto used to sell normal stuff; perhaps ceo gary friedman's spray tan is starting to go to his head?

p.s. the bronzed one calls it a magalog. real cute, gary.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I am a very busy person

sorry internet, been doing a lot of important stuff lately. non stop. constant hustle. right busy, as they say out here. right busy getting botoxed.

Monday, February 21, 2011

trending topics

I obviously do not want a dog and yet I wonder if I need one so I can get on the pug bandwagon. I mean seriously, it is 2011 and they are still so hot. they pretty much dominated the aughts and they show absolutely no sign of slowing. I do hate to miss a trend.

going cold turkey was a huge mistake

finally coming off my holiday egg nog bender.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

lost in translation

I presume that when mila says my 'stash looks "patchy" she actually means "sexy". she is so hard to understand sometimes.

p.s. by extension, I also infer that "please shave it off" actually means "rawr".

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

at the dmv

everything about this place is so passive aggressive.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

cheese please

mila and I are going to new york in a couple of weeks and as usual, dinner resos have been secured. there is a story circulating about how one of the restaurants has apparently taken to googling its guests before their visit. I will spare you the details of the story and cut to the chase: dear eleven madison park, I do not see a cheese course on your website. can you please rectify this situation before my visit? xoxo, simon.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

on the upside, at least it will be nog season soon

omg, just got this month's house and home and it is festive themed. really? it is only october 7th. and I forgot to check the mail yesterday so it might have even been there on october 6th (which was mila's birthday by the way and I am probably in big trouble for not giving her an EV shout out). anyway, festive home decor mags already? barf.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

long distance shout-out

to mila, who once again finds herself in saint john: happy first anniversary.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

no rain, no gain

I am pretty sure we were supposed to get some serious rain from hurricane igor. but I guess that did not happen for some reason. and now I see that julia and karl have passed by without incident. ordinarily I would be all for not having a hurricane, but ordinarily I do not have a sweet new pair of rain boots that I need to take for a spin. so if tropical storm lisa could get with the program and hook me up with a little rain, I would be much obliged. thx.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

haute goat

EV, december 2009: "[pork] is still the hottest meat right now, until goat usurps it sometime in mid 2010.", september 2010: "Goat: Coming Soon to a High-End Menu Near You"

I am like some sort of culinary savant. I wonder if I can parlay that into a show on the food network?


I think I just got one from this evening's apartment-wide coffee table book reorganization.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

east side

do you remember how I said I was going to get an east coast accent? well, great news. I was seeing a patient today, and at the end of the encounter he asked where I was from:

"newfoundland?" he posited.
"no, ontario actually," I replied as I switched back into my upper canadian patois
"well I'm sure glad you didn't say toronto at least"

needless to say I did not correct his misconception. I do not think he was a fan of city slickers.

Monday, July 26, 2010

lamps r us

I think I may have a disease. the lamp situation has gotten so out of control that our home has become a lamp store. literally, a place where strangers can come to buy lamps. our front hall is full of lamps that I am desperately trying to unload in order to accommodate the two new lamps I may have purchased over the weekend. we have sold one so far, but it would seem that lots of inventory remains.

p.s. the only cure for the disease is more lamps.

p.p.s. I may also have another lamp on order but I am only telling you this because it raises such a sweet tale of rapport. I walked into one of the larger home decor stores in town, asked for a lamp, and they said they would order it and get in touch with me, and then I walked out. I HAVE SO MUCH LAMP RAPPORT THAT I DO NOT NEED TO BOTHER WITH NAMES AND PHONE NUMBERS LIKE SOME MERE LAMP MORTAL.

Monday, July 19, 2010

foolproof new reality tv idea

fat or prego. guess which. SOMETIMES IT IS VERY HARD TO TELL.

and I do not know what the show would be called but the second season would be subtitled "eating for two".

Thursday, July 15, 2010

fabric fiasco

did you know that mila has stopped using fabric softener when doing the laundry? no, I did not know that either. but I was doing some laundry the other day and informed her that we seemed to be low on bounce sheets. she was decidedly unconcerned. unconcerned, I realized, because she had long ago discontinued the use thereof. seriously, is this what happens when you delegate tasks? I end up with scratchy clothes AND AM AT RISK OF STATIC CLING?

Thursday, July 08, 2010

on dauntingness

sometimes my pile of magazines to be read becomes dauntingly large. but then I realize that a good chunk of that pile is healthy eating articles in food + wine, and no one can honestly expect me to read that drivel; the pile suddenly becomes far less daunting.

why yes, tonight is mojito night

ttyl, gots to muddle.