long distance shout-out

to mila, who once again finds herself in saint john: happy first anniversary.

no rain, no gain

I am pretty sure we were supposed to get some serious rain from hurricane igor. but I guess that did not happen for some reason. and now I see that julia and karl have passed by without incident. ordinarily I would be all for not having a hurricane, but ordinarily I do not have a sweet new pair of rain boots that I need to take for a spin. so if tropical storm lisa could get with the program and hook me up with a little rain, I would be much obliged. thx.

haute goat

EV, december 2009: "[pork] is still the hottest meat right now, until goat usurps it sometime in mid 2010."

grubstreet.com, september 2010: "Goat: Coming Soon to a High-End Menu Near You"

I am like some sort of culinary savant. I wonder if I can parlay that into a show on the food network?

hernia

I think I just got one from this evening's apartment-wide coffee table book reorganization.

east side

do you remember how I said I was going to get an east coast accent? well, great news. I was seeing a patient today, and at the end of the encounter he asked where I was from:

"newfoundland?" he posited.
"no, ontario actually," I replied as I switched back into my upper canadian patois
"well I'm sure glad you didn't say toronto at least"

needless to say I did not correct his misconception. I do not think he was a fan of city slickers.

lamps r us

I think I may have a disease. the lamp situation has gotten so out of control that our home has become a lamp store. literally, a place where strangers can come to buy lamps. our front hall is full of lamps that I am desperately trying to unload in order to accommodate the two new lamps I may have purchased over the weekend. we have sold one so far, but it would seem that lots of inventory remains.

p.s. the only cure for the disease is more lamps.

p.p.s. I may also have another lamp on order but I am only telling you this because it raises such a sweet tale of rapport. I walked into one of the larger home decor stores in town, asked for a lamp, and they said they would order it and get in touch with me, and then I walked out. I HAVE SO MUCH LAMP RAPPORT THAT I DO NOT NEED TO BOTHER WITH NAMES AND PHONE NUMBERS LIKE SOME MERE LAMP MORTAL.

foolproof new reality tv idea

fat or prego. guess which. SOMETIMES IT IS VERY HARD TO TELL.

and I do not know what the show would be called but the second season would be subtitled "eating for two".

fabric fiasco

did you know that mila has stopped using fabric softener when doing the laundry? no, I did not know that either. but I was doing some laundry the other day and informed her that we seemed to be low on bounce sheets. she was decidedly unconcerned. unconcerned, I realized, because she had long ago discontinued the use thereof. seriously, is this what happens when you delegate tasks? I end up with scratchy clothes AND AM AT RISK OF STATIC CLING?

on dauntingness

sometimes my pile of magazines to be read becomes dauntingly large. but then I realize that a good chunk of that pile is healthy eating articles in food + wine, and no one can honestly expect me to read that drivel; the pile suddenly becomes far less daunting.

why yes, tonight is mojito night

ttyl, gots to muddle.

said mila of the bieb

"it's like the voice of an angel"

srsly? if she has the fever she is really going to have to go into isolation or something.

mantiques

antiques for men. they are actually a thing. why did no one tell me about this?

alex trebek do you ever get tired of being so smug?

you just insisted on letting the contestants know that twilight of the gods is also known as gotterdammerung. and you insisted on pronouncing it as though the entire word was made of umlauts. so I guess the answer would be no, you do not ever get tired of being so smug.

two cookies is never enough

suggested serving sizes are so judgemental.

review: fuji apples

marginally palatable

fair warning

if I see one more mention of "hyper-local" in food & wine I am cancelling my subscription.

pretty much nsfw

hottest thing I have read all week:

"Pour the melted butter over the bowl of butter and stir to melt the butter. The butter should look creamy, with small bits of unmelted butter, and be at room temperature."

that is five butters in two sentences. thomas keller, will you ever cease to amaze?

bad attitude

this may come as a surprise, but sometimes mila gives me attitude. like I am out cruising in my new short pants or something and she is all like "please never wear those again". but do you know what has even more attitude than mila? mila with a leather jacket. for instance, I just got a threatening email because I had not told my blog that mila got a leather jacket. THREATS! also she wonders if she should start hanging out at the biker bar down the street. YOUR JACKET HAS RUFFLES AND A GINGHAM LINING. PLEASE DO NOT HANG OUT WITH THE BIKERS.

or french, I am really not that particular

blog did I tell you that one of my patients was an antique dealer? I asked him to send me a 19th C english writing desk. I do hope he is feeling better, but I cannot also help but to hope that my desk comes soon.

the cast saw is not a toy

you know how there are all those supernanny shows where some british schoolmarm comes in and reforms a bunch of unruly children? do you know who really needs a supernanny? EVERY FAMILY I HAVE SEEN AT THE HOSPITAL IN THE PAST WEEK.