Wednesday, September 26, 2007

pharmaceutical phakery

dear patient,

when you said you were taking a blue octagonal pill and I spent what felt like hours looking up what turned out to be a purple pentagonal pill, I was not that angry because really octagons and pentagons are not so different and purple and blue are certainly easily confused.

but then when you later told me you actually stopped taking that pill months ago I would be lying if I said I did not have a strong urge to change your meal preferences to "ramadan" because I'll bet your day-long fast would make you think twice about falsifying medical information next time.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think that this is a very PC post.

simon said...

I didn't actually change his meal preferences you know. I just took his clothing privileges away for the day, that's all.

Anonymous said...

i also heard through the grapevine that you are hesitant to put "adequate grooming" on any of your patient's charts but really, don't you think you could lower the bar just a tiny bit for them? just a little? there is just not much anyone can do with a hospital gown, slippers and no access to a shaving razor!

Anonymous said...

oops, i meant patients'

mila, text me later!

simon said...

anonymous, are you suggesting I falsify medical records and upgrade the mediocre-at-best grooming of my patients to the 'adequately groomed' level? one has to have ethical standards, anonymous.

needless to say, my pen has never even come close to inking the words 'adequately dressed.'