my beefs with ralph lauren

I just got an email from mila's uncle, ralph, inviting me to an exclusive private sale on his website. I thought that was very nice of him, inviting me to an exclusive private sale and all.

but then I went to ralph's website and was most dismayed to see that this exclusive private sale was splashed across his home page for all of his non-relatives to see. what is up with that, ralph? not very family-like at all, really. you were pretty much just spamming me. next thing I know you will be forwarding me annoying chain letters. poor play.

to make matters worse, this spectacular purple label peak-lapel velvet blazer in a sublime olive-brown is still too expensive. I was kind of hoping ralph would cut me a deal on that one. how about a smooth mackenzie king, and you throw in free shipping? how does that sound, ralph?