2xcited 4words

hphbp t-9d omg

lab(coat) results

well, my new labcoat does have a touch of waist suppression, so that's okay I guess, but I certainly wouldn't complain if they brought in the shoulders an inch or so. and it wouldn't kill them to trim out the sleeves, either.

p.s. I have a killer craving to have some calling cards made. I am not yet sure whom I would give them to, though. I will have to start calling on more people.

p.p.s. KILLER craving.

I can't believe I just got bumped by a jonas brother

whenever I post a blog I usually ask mila to read it over to make sure it is up to the usual EV standard. well I just asked her to read my latest blog and she said she would but then I hear "KEVIN JONAS JUST GOT ENGAGED, sorry, maybe I can read your blog later."

just chillin' in my ski mask

getting the buzzer set up in our new building has been, as they say, a fiasco. at first, the buzzer went to my cell phone, and that was all fine and I could have nice convos with everyone down in the lobby, but for some reason could not buzz anyone in. we might have survived this condition, but whenever we went downstairs to let someone in, we inevitably forgot our keys, and so joined the visitor on the wrong side of a locked door.

so we asked the super to change the buzzer to our landline, thinking this might fix things. no problem, he assured us, he would get right on it as soon as he got back from his day trip to digby. well I happened to run into the super while he was attempting to reprogram the buzzer machine. MOST PAINFUL THING I HAVE EVER WATCHED. it was like watching grandparents try to book airline tickets online. PAINFUL. and I was socially bound to stay there and watch him as he mashed buttons on the keypad for what I am pretty sure was a few hours.

well now there are about five entries for us in the buzzer system, with various misspellings and typos, which ring up to god knows which phone numbers, and none of which seem to work. also I am pretty sure he deleted some of our neighbour's buzzer numbers.

anyway the upshot of all this is that I managed to spy the super's access code for the buzzer system. so the plan for tonight is to don a ski mask, head to the lobby, and take matters into my own hands, buzzer system cybervigilante-style.

EXTREMELY URGENT AND MOST IMPORTANT

MILA HAS JUST DISCOVERED THAT HER YOGA MAT HAS A CREASE IN IT. DISASTER OMG aEWWAEFjmnwfoeEEeFEwe

namaste

mila has recently taken up moksha yoga. basically it sounds like regular yoga but the room is really hot so you sweat a lot. now do not get me wrong, I love a good shivtz, but in a steam room, not from physical activity (I am on a low-exercise, high-carb diet. I'll let you know how it goes). anyway, moral of the story, mila so far reports tremendous success buying yoga clothes, and she is very happy with the mat she got (plum on one side, chocolate on the other). she bought some pleasant mat cleaner (green apple scent) and is looking for a nice yoga bag. no word yet on the yoga itself.

worst deal ever

susur lee is now offering a sleep-and-dine package at toronto's soho met, including a meal at one of his toronto restaurants. $385 gets you a night stay, and a 5-course meal chez susur. SUSUR LEE, IF YOU PAID ME $385 I WOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER GRACING ONE OF YOUR ARMPITS OF A RESTAURANT WITH MY PRESENCE. unless this package included the opportunity to whip week-old tuna filets at your ponytailed self.

attn: jacques torres

jacques, these cookies had better be good. not only do you have the gallic audacity to call for not one, but two types of flour (neither of which was standard-issue all-purpose), but you could no less constrain yourself to one type of sugar, let alone only one type of salt. the specifications for the type of chocolate to be used run on for multiple lines, and then refer the reader to a footnote, with yet more excruciating detail. AND THEN YOU DEMAND THAT THE DOUGH BE REFRIGERATED FOR 24 HOURS BEFORE BAKING. jacques, let me tell you, once I am finished hand-adjusting each chocolate chip (yes, he suggests you reorient any vertical chips before baking, "for a more attractive cookie") these had better be the most delicious chocolate chip cookies I have ever tasted.

out of control at the new atlantic EV HQ

omg say yes to the dress
omg rock the reception
omg I am going to throw a brick through the TV if mila keeps up this habit.

p.s. a groom just tossed a life ring to the bride. all choreographed to the pounding beats of rihanna. it was, apparently, a nautical-themed first dance.

never ever

dear mila,
please never let me have a comb over.

on halifax dairy

milk in gallon (well, four litre, I suppose) jugs, but sticks of unsalted butter nowhere to be seen. too early to take a position on the former, but the latter is quite problematic, to put it mildly.

breaking news

hot off the wire, from reuters: "Everglades swamped with invading pythons."

HELLO, WHY DON'T THEY JUST MAKE ME SOME SHOES? or a wallet? hello, can I at least have a python wallet?

frame shame

dear framing store lady,

I was not joking when I said I wanted a gold frame. I do not really care that you think I might no longer want a gold frame once I am done choosing the mat. guess what, bossypants? I still want a gold frame. and by the way I refuse to patronize stores where pushy apron-clad framemongers try to pressure me into bad framing decisions.

p.s. my old framing lady thought I was an architect. just saying.

most inauspicious craigslist descriptor

"unique"

p.s. kijiji this applies to you too.

current project: beard

progress: patchy

mies van der bloghe

it seems I haven't really been hanging out at EV much lately. it has been a bit of a moving disaster zone around here at the new EV HQ: unpack a box, realize there is nowhere to put the stuff, go buy something in which to put the stuff, realize there is something wrong with the new purchase, return the undoubtedly heavy item...

anyway, in the flurry of point of sale transactions I completely forgot to post our new address for blogiversary gifts and general well wishes. please do not hesitate to contact me if you need an address so you can finally get those brno chairs in the mail (flat bar only, please. that tubular business is no good).

packing problem

okay so packing is going well. or at least kind of well. I am actually super bored of packing, but at least it is almost done. DONE EXCEPT FOR THE PROBLEM THAT EVENTUALLY I AM GOING TO HAVE TO PACK THE ROLL OF PACKING TAPE, AND THEN HOW WILL I SEAL THAT BOX?

it is so on, next-door neighbour

I see your beyonce and raise you one thundering timbaland bassline.

thanks mila!

as I groaned under the weight of a box full of coffee table books, mila, from her recumbent position on the sofa, helpfully added that I might want to label the box once I was done packing it. "the sharpies live in the kitchen drawer!" she further noted, as she took a sip of her tea.

ella ella eh eh eh

I guess 1 pm on an overcast saturday is as good a time as any for our douchebag next-door neighbour to have a top 40 dance party circa 2007.