EXTREMELY URGENT AND MOST IMPORTANT

MILA HAS JUST DISCOVERED THAT HER YOGA MAT HAS A CREASE IN IT. DISASTER OMG aEWWAEFjmnwfoeEEeFEwe

namaste

mila has recently taken up moksha yoga. basically it sounds like regular yoga but the room is really hot so you sweat a lot. now do not get me wrong, I love a good shivtz, but in a steam room, not from physical activity (I am on a low-exercise, high-carb diet. I'll let you know how it goes). anyway, moral of the story, mila so far reports tremendous success buying yoga clothes, and she is very happy with the mat she got (plum on one side, chocolate on the other). she bought some pleasant mat cleaner (green apple scent) and is looking for a nice yoga bag. no word yet on the yoga itself.

worst deal ever

susur lee is now offering a sleep-and-dine package at toronto's soho met, including a meal at one of his toronto restaurants. $385 gets you a night stay, and a 5-course meal chez susur. SUSUR LEE, IF YOU PAID ME $385 I WOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER GRACING ONE OF YOUR ARMPITS OF A RESTAURANT WITH MY PRESENCE. unless this package included the opportunity to whip week-old tuna filets at your ponytailed self.

attn: jacques torres

jacques, these cookies had better be good. not only do you have the gallic audacity to call for not one, but two types of flour (neither of which was standard-issue all-purpose), but you could no less constrain yourself to one type of sugar, let alone only one type of salt. the specifications for the type of chocolate to be used run on for multiple lines, and then refer the reader to a footnote, with yet more excruciating detail. AND THEN YOU DEMAND THAT THE DOUGH BE REFRIGERATED FOR 24 HOURS BEFORE BAKING. jacques, let me tell you, once I am finished hand-adjusting each chocolate chip (yes, he suggests you reorient any vertical chips before baking, "for a more attractive cookie") these had better be the most delicious chocolate chip cookies I have ever tasted.

out of control at the new atlantic EV HQ

omg say yes to the dress
omg rock the reception
omg I am going to throw a brick through the TV if mila keeps up this habit.

p.s. a groom just tossed a life ring to the bride. all choreographed to the pounding beats of rihanna. it was, apparently, a nautical-themed first dance.

never ever

dear mila,
please never let me have a comb over.

on halifax dairy

milk in gallon (well, four litre, I suppose) jugs, but sticks of unsalted butter nowhere to be seen. too early to take a position on the former, but the latter is quite problematic, to put it mildly.

breaking news

hot off the wire, from reuters: "Everglades swamped with invading pythons."

HELLO, WHY DON'T THEY JUST MAKE ME SOME SHOES? or a wallet? hello, can I at least have a python wallet?

frame shame

dear framing store lady,

I was not joking when I said I wanted a gold frame. I do not really care that you think I might no longer want a gold frame once I am done choosing the mat. guess what, bossypants? I still want a gold frame. and by the way I refuse to patronize stores where pushy apron-clad framemongers try to pressure me into bad framing decisions.

p.s. my old framing lady thought I was an architect. just saying.

most inauspicious craigslist descriptor

"unique"

p.s. kijiji this applies to you too.

current project: beard

progress: patchy