liveblogging: morning rounds

antibiotics
for seven or ten days
let's talk about it for twenty minutes
who cares
I hope it looks like I'm checking blood work

p.s. it's my blogiversary

problem

I have absolutely no idea where I am parked.

so much for patient care

I am pretty sure every nurse in london is seeing the sex and the city movie this weekend. most are enjoying cosmos with the girls beforehand. shouts of "let's hoochie it up!" and "skank!" ring through the halls of the hospital, while educational posters about new IV pumps are hastily covered over with glitter-encrusted sign-up sheets for the myriad SATC parties.

craigslist

58 billy bookcases, but not a single fortuny floor lamp to be found.

still working on the presentation

my scathing review, however, is done.

with no waiter nor food in sight, I ambled over to the lobby to have a chat with the maitre d’, who was nowhere to be found; I was instead left to chat with the bartender:

“Is the manager around?”
“I’m afraid not at the moment. Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Well, to be frank, the service is really unbelievable tonight"
"Unbelievably good?" he unbelievably asked.

work in progress

tomorrow's presentation for work (toxic shock syndrome): 181 words
review of this weekend's dinner at susur (just plain toxic): 861 words

sorry school, looks like you lose again.

from this month's food and wine

"diners tend to idealize luxury proteins... but those have become nothing more than empty status symbols. Vegetables with terroir, isn't that the ultimate luxury?"

well I guess that writer can help himself to a nice big bowl of luxury iceberg lettuce (with terroir). I'll stick with the foie, thanks.

p.s. we are apparently in a "post-adria generation." f&w said so.

gender issues

I am not sure if I have ever mentioned this, but in response to the general outrageousness of women's studies I am in the process of developing a curriculum in men's studies. it would include courses like "manbags 101" and "the men's section at banana republic is always smaller than the women's - a seminar" and "media studies: vogue vs men's vogue" and for advanced students, a research course: "my manspa closed - where to get a quality sports manicure in a gentlemanly atmosphere."

anyway I guess I have a new course ("the man and the postmodern wedding: a recontextualization through the lens of social construct"). all the wedding websites go on at great length about "her day" and "discussion with the bride" and "the cake of her dreams" and "you and your husband." so now I have to email the photographer and feel like a total second-class citizen because they promise to capture "her vision" but the vision is actually my vision and I am a he.

so moral of the story, if I drop out of school and become a wedding planner it will be a completely gender neutral enterprise. or maybe it will be mancentric to make up for years of wedding repression.

p.s. I am hooked on stationery