autumn looms, apparently

winners, a halloween display in july? no one needs to see that kind of thing.

thwarted again

curses, the weatherman says it is 29 degrees outside right now. though I question whether or not it is in fact that toasty out, it does seem that a blazer would be somewhat excessive.

time warp

past simon, why did you have to be so lazy? right now, present simon really wants a coke zero but I guess you had better things to do than refill the fridge when you took the last cold one. thanks a lot, jerk.

simon and the festival of muggles

mila and I passed through a folk festival this afternoon. I have two qualms: who thinks that selling wind chimes, far east-inspired woven goods, beaded necklaces, handmade soaps and paint-by-numbers watercolours is even remotely original? I have never seen so many booths of such identical garbage. which brings me to issue number two: who buys this stuff?

like, seriously though, is there a book 8 or something? I'm dying here.

so when's the movie coming out

well that was an enjoyable 16 hours.

page 270

merlin's beard, it's 5 am.

thomas keller movie reviews

spanglish: it is sweet that thomas keller designed a sandwich for adam sandler to make. also it was really great when chef sandler was walking through the kitchen and a cook got in his way and it wasn't really a big deal but they made it out to be such a big deal because the kitchen was doubtlessly a "mistake-free zone" just like thomas keller declared his french laundry to be. however, this was pretty much the only good scene in the movie, which was in fact a romantic comedy and not a chef-dramedy as I had thought. you can imagine my disappointment.

ratatouille: it is also sweet that thomas keller designed a dish for this movie - a pomo ratatouille, of course. he also had a voice cameo which is great as well. bonus points for casting guy savoy for the french version, and ferran adria in the spanish edition. also there was a really heartwarming scene when all the rats pulled together and helped out the chef rat, and really there would be nothing wrong with it if that scene made me cry with happiness or something, but of course it didn't because it was a children's cartoon and I am a grown man with robust sensibilities.

in other food movie news: catherine zeta-jones, I refuse to see your upcoming "no reservations" because mila tells me that all you did was spend two nights as a waitress. rest assured, I will investigate the culinary pedigree of this movie more thoroughly once I lift my internet embargo. I sincerely hope you were not waitressing at charlie trotter's in chicago, because they have such a tremendous passion for service that I would then be required to see your movie.

goodbye internet

things are getting way too hairy on the internet. spoilers everywhere. even one of my economics blogs had potter links. they might have actually been complaining about spoilers, but I closed that blog so fast because you never know and you really cannot be too safe about this kind of thing.

so I'm off, internet. maybe I will go take a pre-party nap now so that I am in peak reading form later tonight.

I have made a huge mistake

we have a large bottle of liquid hand soap that lives under one of our sinks. I am making known its whereabouts only so that mila can no longer claim ignorance when it comes time to refill the soap dispenser. anyway, this soap was a bit too viscous for my tastes, so for the first while I would add a drop or two of water to the soap pump every time I refilled it. but why waste time individually diluting each batch of soap when I could go straight to the source and fix this problem once and for all? well, it seems I was a bit overzealous with the water, because the soap is now far too watery for comfortable use. so the way I see it, I could buy another bottle of soap, and do 50/50 blends each time I fill, hopefully achieving the perfect viscosity in doing so. this screams defeat, however, and so I think I will pursue option number two: hand soap distillery. I hope that liquid soap is heat-stable.

also, does 'still,' as in the distillery equipment, come from 'distill'? if so, and if I were into distilling and the like, and if I wanted to blog about my distilling, I would probably call attention to the fact that I am writing about stills on a blog, which is a rather tidy etymological coincidence (both 'still' and 'blog' are arrived at by dropping the first part of their parent word. I'll bet there is a word for that process, and do I ever wish I knew it). I might call the post "still blogging." the blog title itself would probably not have any wordplay of that nature in it, as that would be far too flippant given how serious my passion for distilling would be.

heather reisman you had better come through

our local chapters promises a harry potter release party next friday, complete with live music. however, the whomping willows, harry and the potters, draco and the malfoys, the remus lupins, the parselmouths, and the moaning myrtles are all booked elsewhere that night. in short, pretty much the who's who of wizrock is unavailable. so I do not know who exactly they have booked for the london chapters, but they had better find someone good before I start throwing down some jinxes or maybe some curses.

p.s. mila the den light is still on.

english lesson

upon entering the marble slab ice creamery, we were told by the manager that, on account of the marble slab being out of order, something or other was complimentary. his words were unfortunately lost amidst the general clamour of hungry (yet, for the most part, seemingly very well fed) patrons.

so I asked our server: "what exactly is complimentary tonight?"
"oh," she replied as she scooped my praline ice cream, "that means free."

p.s. mila got birthday cake flavour ice cream. she let me taste some. I cannot decide which makes me feel more violently ill - the birthday cake ice cream, or cream soda, which she has been drinking with alarming frequency lately. the decision is complicated by the fact that they share a remarkable similarity in terms of flavour (initial notes of refined sugars, giving way to artificial sweetener and finishing with a chemical burn). seriously, if you froze some cream soda, I think you would have a very reasonable facsimile of this birthday cake ice cream. then again, I wonder if you could even freeze that vile liquid.

p.p.s. mila the light in the den is on. I think you're closer to the switch.

suburbia is so weird

we just saw a man vacuuming his roof. the roof of his house. with a shopvac. standing on his roof vacuuming the shingles.

cbc

I cannot believe I missed the toronto latte art competition in may. oh well, perhaps it was for the best, as some of the entries were shockingly unattractive, to be blunt. I have never seen so many amorphous brown and white blobs posing for latte art in my life. anyway, not to worry, I shall instead save my energies for the upcoming 2007 canadian barista championship.

conversations on hair

"so, do you like my new bangs?"
"yeah, they look really good."
"so, would you say they're a hit?"
"uh... I guess so. they're very nice."
"I don't care if you blog about them."

library update

I asked the hospital librarian if she could renew my public library card but she just laughed at me.

library emergency

I just tried to place a hold for harry potter and the half-blood prince because all the copies are currently out of the library but my library card is expired and I have to see a librarian to renew it but I do not exactly have time to spare here so I guess I will have to leave work and head to the nearest branch of the london public library. though someone once told me that the hospital library was affiliated so I wonder if I should go discuss my problem with them. maybe they have a copy! I hope it is the adult edition, because I refuse to walk out of the hospital library with a children's book under my arm. I have standards you know.

MILA PLEASE JUST GO BUY ME A COPY YOU CAN TAKE THE MONEY FROM MY VEGETABLE BUDGET.

heavy lifting

oh god there is such a huge crane outside right now. they are putting it together. it had to come in separate pieces because that is how huge it is. I am never going to get any work done because I cannot stop watching the crane. oh god they are putting the counterweights on right now got to go watch.

administrative professional of the year

admin woman, I must commend you for your unrelenting standard of punctuality. no matter how many people are waiting outside your door, I am fully confident that you will never open that door until the prescribed opening time of 8:30, and not a moment earlier.

I must also applaud your fervent championing of the online administrative offerings. after all, why click a button or two on your end when I could spend all morning attempting to navigate the byzantine system you referred me to? I guess it does free up your day for vital administrative tasks like chatelaine and loulou.

harry potter and the I need book 6 right now

well this is just great: I do not have a copy of harry potter and the half-blood prince in london. how on earth am I going to do a prerelease reread without it?

also I cannot find my wand at the moment, and the july 21st midnight release parties are fast approaching.

splendido, bravo

your new menu is $295. that is almost $300. that is so michelin star. well done.

mi stapler es su stapler

I really need a stapler right now. I might just wander the halls until I see a vacant office and nip in and use their stapler. this is a public hospital, so it is really just as much my stapler as it is the soon-to-be-looted secretary's.

al gore I hope you are right

I just played some christmas music by accident. I kind of wish it were christmas right now. but still hot out. a global warming christmas.