colour of the day: orange

do not try to do self-tanning in the dark at five in the morning.

no one cares about simon

so I am sometimes chatting with nurses and other hospital types and they find out I am on vay-cay soon to get married and then when they find out mila still needs to do some work on her dress they are all like "omg" BUT NOT EVEN ONCE ARE THEY LIKE "OMG WHAT ABOUT YOUR SUIT?"

pre-wedding diet

thank goodness mila does not know what goes into a tarte tatin because I for sure would not have been allowed to make one for dessert.

p.s. we seem to be out of butter
p.p.s. also we seem to be low on sugar
p.p.p.s. and also our puff pastry supplies seem mysteriously depleted.

tom selleck

okay so apparently tom selleck is eating dinner right now in the restaurant on the main floor of our building. I am not entirely sure who he is, but mila keeps trying to think of excuses to go down and visit. so while mila heads down to see if we have had a late evening mail delivery, I am left to wonder who in blazes tom selleck is. he sounds so vaguely familiar in that 80s kind of way. like a c-list to hasselhoff's b-list or something.

I am spent!

printed the papers for this week's journal club. exhausted. back to shopping for lamps. please do not tell mila though because I am supposed to be reading those papers I just printed, and also something about she hates the lamp I am trying to buy and it is the ugliest lamp she has ever seen, etc.

p.s. in actual fact, it is a really hot lamp. like actually, it is probably the best lamp.

t-pain in the ass

mila will not leave me alone until I can figure out how to auto-tune her voicemail.

the unfiltered truth

we are out of brita filters and now mila is refusing to drink the tap water and as a result she is starting to suffer from severe dehydration. the situation has become so dire that she has taken to drinking bottles of sterile water while at the hospital (which she reports taste awful - not quite sure why this is preferable to our tap water, which I assure you is quite potable). I am even less clear on why she does not just drink the bottled water we have piled up in the kitchen - perhaps she is trying to make a point until I go out and buy some brita filters? if so, I foresee a hospital admission for hypovolemic shock in the future, because I am far too busy trying to source some marble to top our new side table to go buy brita filters.

bad education

hi students,
welcome back to halifax. please be quiet.

p.s. just made brownies from a mix. please do not judge. do you know how easy those things are? there are four ingredients and one of them is brownie mix. and also you only need one bowl and one spoon. I am pretty sure my usual brownie recipe involves more bowls than will fit in the dishwasher, a double boiler and a half-pound of butter. and probably six eggs.

sorry blog, have been busy

one of those things I have been busy doing is eating jos louises because MILA LET ME BUY A BOX OF JOS LOUIS. I do not quite know what was wrong with her. she was obviously not completely out of her mind, however, as she only permitted me the half-moon jos louis. THEY ARE SO DELICIOUS BUT ONLY HALF AS DELICIOUS AS A FULL JOS LOUIS WOULD BE.