break out the epipen

our building's gym just reopened following its renovation. mila is headed down there now. you may recall that her last foray into high intensity exercise resulted in a total body rash, which the internet revealed to be some sort of allergic reaction to exercise. needless to say, I will have the benadryl close at hand.

p.s. I will be in charge of administering the benadryl. last time mila was allowed to self-medicate with the stuff she ended up with an overdose. she states quite emphatically that this is well known as a "drug store high." I am dubious.

maybe she needs more thorough bloodwork

old mila:
"do you mind if we pop into goodwill? I need more vintage t's"
"ideal wedding? toronto islands in birkenstocks. or maybe elope"
"kensington market should have pedestrian sundays every day"
"I majored in women's studies"

new mila:
"simon, can you please leave me alone? can't you see I'm trying to make an inspiration board?"

god knows what an inspiration board is, but it clearly involves copious wedding blogs and a floor covered in bridal magazines.

mila health update

mila had been feeling a little sleepy lately, so she had some bloodwork done. given her diminutive size, it was kind of just assumed by all that her bloodwork would be less than impressive. well apparently mila is not so sickly after all. in fact, she would like to announce that she sports an iron level well within the normal range, and her B12 is bang-on. she is also quite proud of her robust hemoglobin (135), and notes that her thyroid is humming along quite nicely.

p.s. her glucose is also perfect.
p.p.s. I think I have low platelets. it is too bad we didn't get couples bloodwork, because I am kind of curious to see how I compare.

okay everyone relax

do not worry, reservations have been secured for one of susur's final tasting menus. now I just have to find the forms to get time off from school. I wonder if there's a checkbox for "gastronomic leave."

spinoff blog idea

mila and I were chatting the other night. she wondered what my favourite vegetable was. she said hers was broccoli. I said mine was cookies. she said that cookies do not count as a vegetable, but perhaps she forgot that cookies are made from wheat, which, last I checked, was a plant. anyway, mila went on to ask what food I would take with me if I were on a desert island. she said chinese food. I said cookies. which leads me to my blog spinoff:

it would be called "exquisite vanity: the project" or perhaps "exquisite project" or maybe "project carbs." I would live for one year just on cookies and a daily multivitamin. I would blog about cookies and multivitamins and my health, which I suspect would be quite good, because I would be taking a daily multivitamin.

really, I would not be surprised if someone wanted to make a tv show or a movie about this or maybe a book with some cobranded merchandise like "exquisite cookies" or something.

I sincerely hope this is an elaborate april fools joke

chatto reports that susur is moving to new york. despite my vendetta, I am somewhat saddened by this news. furthermore, I spoke to the receptionist at his restaurant not one week ago, and she did not even have the decency to let me know. unbelievable.