I would boycott them if they weren't so delicious

dear whoppers, the candy, not the burger:
I cannot believe that you have replaced the pastel-coloured robin's eggs with the plain, standard-issue chocolate whopper. do not think for one second that you can sweep this under the carpet with a little bit of easter-themed packaging. if I were not so thoroughly immobilized from having eaten half a bag of your malted confectionery delights, I would be writing some harshly worded emails, that is for sure.