my world is in shambles

food critic james chatto, who do you think you are? your increasingly flowery prose and ballooning metaphors have not gone unnoticed, you know. a recent blog post of yours gave us this gem of a simile: "a quality canadian restaurant meal is like a perfectly cut, bespoke velvet shirt. the european version offers the same shirt made of silk." that makes no sense. very bruni-esque, though. are you hoping to decamp to the US and take over frank bruni's post as the food editor at the NYT? I am even more suspicious now that you have revamped the TOLife star system to be more in line with the Times. more troubling even than your potential emigration, however, is the fact that I am now very much thrown off my ratings game. hiro at 1 star? bymark at 2 1/2? those make no sense, and now I am going to have to relearn all the ratings and I have exams to study for you know.