the keg has kelly kwan

went to my very first keg ever tonight in celebration of my birthday. it was supposed to be kind of ironic, but I ended up rather enjoying it. anyway, the london keg appears to have a white kelly kwan. a few years ago, kelly somehow divined that it was my birthday, and brought me a dessert with a solitary candle seemingly magically affixed to the plate. tonight, white kelly kwan also somehow knew it was my birthday. well there was a birthday card on the table, so maybe he saw it, but that is okay. and the candle was shoved in a giant slab of mocha ice cream, but the latter was actually quite delicious. and I suppose white kelly kwan did not so much coo sweet nothings in my ear and pirouette about the white ostrich banquettes as much as he gave me finger guns and declared that picking up subtle birthday hints 'is just how we roll.'

oh kelly kwan (the asian original, not the white impostor) why do you stick it out with that shameless sellout susur when you could have any of the top rooms in TO?