waiter I do not trust you

so after the amuse bouche (a disappointingly forgettable tuna ceviche, especially given the name of the restaurant) and the foie (well timed on the heat, and the accompaniments were all very well judged. spiced pain perdu was a great counterpoint and white port gelee was not in the least cloying as one worries it might be) and then the lamb (a competently roasted loin, which could admittedly have used a few more minutes with the butcher's knife, a delightful shank samosa and finally a lively merguez sausage) came dessert. naturally, matters had to be discussed at length with the waiter. so I asked who was preparing all these desserts that we were discussing so thoroughly. "crystal" said the waiter. okay so I am not 100% sure that crystal does not work in a gentlemen's club, so I ask the waiter for more details. "she worked in a restaurant before." that is really great, waiter. I am very pleased to hear that my chef has worked in a restaurant before. but not to worry, because waiter had more to say: "a nice restaurant." well then.

much to my chagrin, the waiter did not promptly return with more details on crystal's past. so I had to prod him. he duly found out that she used to do pastry at nectar, another toronto eatery. BUT DEAR WAITER, I found no record of any crystal ever having worked at nectar. in fact I found no information on any crystals ever doing pastry anywhere. so let me tell you that you are on thin ice, waiter. maybe you were right, but if I am ever back at amuse bouche I will be asking you a lot of questions. and I will know the answer to those questions already. so if you get them wrong I will know.